Of what we need
Deprived of a touch desires languish,
my love desolated in a drought of emotions
slowly wither, a lone flower in a neglected garden-
And what is it that I miss?
This life filled with opposing notions
always seeking a soul matched in heavens
lost along the way, my will hardened
into a shell of finality, a dry river
flowing into a sea of desperation-
I lost my way,
somewhere between my first cry
and her last kiss,
a broken piece left behind in the sway
of waves caressing my body
while I’ll dream of her,
somewhere between her last goodbye
and my last breath-
“No, I don’t miss you… Not in a way that one is missed.
But I think of you.
In the way that one might think of the summer sunshine
On a winter night…”
― Sreesha Divakaran,
“Cásate conmigo” I whispered on your ear
It’s been so long my dear
since words I never said but meant
to hand you all the stars and take you away.
It’s been too long and only in dreams
you suddenly appear as beautiful as ever
so real the taste of that last kiss
still remains forever-
If I could just return and find your arms
flourished with promises left
abandoned words that never grew
when lives then drifted apart
and only turned into a dream
that haunts me at night,
I would then say the words I knew
were stuck inside my heart-
“In my heart, I knew that only the lucky found that sort of happiness. And I had always run short on luck.” ― S.H. Kolee, Fated
Lost in the brown of your eyes
I could have loved the impossibility you became,
watching the subtle beauty of your inner soul
as I strung desires from the skies
reflected on your dreams, dreams I stole
to set my love aflame-
Even now I wish I could have tasted
your life flavors, but wishes wasted
too late to such a life reclaim.
Now lost in the memory of your brown eyes
I yearn the possibility you became.
You became a ghost appeased by words left
drifting on forgotten pages, defining you
as I created a version within my heart.
And I lost you way back before I knew
your face would become dreams nested
in the sound of your voice late at night,
your words quickly becoming a part
of what love is made of, and I lost you
quietly as your ghostly presence became
embedded in the words written before
morphing into fading pixels just the same
as I fade into a life where I am no more.
Sometimes, craving someone sticks hard
to nerve endings on my skin, lonely heart
missing beats meant for love, now long gone
and left forgotten in fading names
within ashes left from flames
that once burned, then I am done
with regressing to the places
where her kisses left the traces
of such flavors on my lips, slowly fading
late at night in between sheets lone and cold,
someone there in my memories to hold.
I remember faces, words and places
and the feel of you, that I can’t remember-
I can see the kisses each and every time
when replay again what I though was mine
but became a dream, not a burning ember.
I can see my hands touching every part
but a taste of you, that I can’t remember-
Only in my mind one night in September
I did find a place in your loving heart.
Now your face at night becomes an obsession
and your ghostly voice resonates inside
while I ask myself how much hard I tried
to hold on to you with my desperation,
and your last goodbye, that I do remember.
I can’t remember, too many winters passed leaving cold behind
desperately seeking the warm wrapped in caring hands
with promises of remembering in time
what was like, when no one understands
that leaving pieces behind as we depart
causes us to forget about the heart.
Glimpses sneak through a window at night
when in between dreams I forget I can’t remember
until waking up with tears caused by fright
makes me wonder, something about September
and a fading smile with promises I can’t remember.
H.O. July 11, 2014