Inside my world of dreams, you still there
as clear as it was for many years
without anger, love or the wicked fears-
Fears for a life I was not prepared
to endure in silence while I dared
to search for happiness not found
in the promises made of everlasting.
Inside my world of dreams I do not love you
for love was but a ghost and did not live
in our house and did not give
but a few brief moments, only a few
tasting like imitation happiness
while I slowly died a little each day.
Inside my world of dreams I let you go
and I search for what’s mine,
every sunrise new promises made
while you remain alone
lost without place and left behind-
Strange how after five years I still dream about her, five years since I walked away, two years since our divorce. In my dreams I am back to a life we no longer had. If I could dream of the pain, anxiety and depression then it would be a nightmare.